So here I am getting prepared for that workshop. That caused me to dust off and revitalize my secrets for more effective listening. I’d love to share them.

JoAnna Brandi’s 25 Secrets For More Effective Listening

“The ears hear and the heart listens”

1. Recognize that listening is something you do for personal success, not just to be polite, or “nice”. Good listening earns power, respect, and gets you the information you need to be effective. Good listening is discipline with a vision of trust and understanding.
2. Want to listen better. View listening as a small investment of time and energy that produces an enormous return in understanding and connection. Make the commitment to listen to understand, not just reply.
3. Become less self centered. You may be the only one that believes what you have to say is more important than the other person. Maybe you’re wrong. Keep an open, curious mind.
4. Be Quiet! You can’t talk and listen at the same time. Take a breath, drop your awareness down into your heart and then open your ears.
5. Prepare in advance. Plan your remarks and questions ahead of time. Preparation frees your mind for listening.
6. Work hard at listening. Be present. Concentrate. Focus your mind on what the other person is saying. Practice shutting out distractions. Don’t rush to fill silence.
7. Visualize the speaker. That is, if you are on the phone. If you are with them, make appropriate eye contact.
8. Listen for ideas and feelings, not only words. Get the whole picture. Listen for the emotional tone. Convey empathy.
9. Think like the “customer”. Consider things from the speaker’s point of view, you’ll understand and retain better.
10. Hold your fire! Don’t interrupt! Suspend judgments and hold your rebuttal. Let defensiveness go, it won’t get you anywhere.
11. Check for non-verbal cues. What is speaker saying with body language, tone of voice etc. Listen for overtones and undercurrents. Pay attention to how they react to what you say.
12. Use listening responses. “Yes”, “Uh-huh”, head nods and other body signals.
13. Use Invitations to expand. “Tell me more.” “That’s interesting.” “Then what..?”
14. Take notes. Be selective though, so to maintain attention.
15. Ask Questions. If you are not sure you understand, ask. Ask questions designed to give you more information.   “Help me understand what you mean when you say…” or “Do you mean…?”
16. Clarify and confirm. Rephrase to check for understanding. “So what I hear you saying is…” “If I understand you correctly…”
17. Use mirroring and matching. Build and stay in rapport. Use similar language, gestures, tempo and tone.
18. Don’t make assumptions. Avoid making unwarranted assumptions about what the speaker is going to say, even if you think you know what that is.
19. Practice making the decisions you need to make about people and events without drawing conclusions too soon. Hold an open mind. Once you have drawn a conclusion you expend energy defending it.
20. Don’t plan your response. If you are planning your response you are not listening.
21. React to the ideas not the person. Ignore irritating habits or unusual accents that may distract from the message.
22. Use affirmations to stay present. “Right now, understanding this person’s feelings is the most important thing in my life.” Be totally present in the moment.
23. Use the ‘AAA’ method of affirming. Acknowledge, Amplify and Anchor a person’s ideas, strengths and what’s good about the situation.
24. Practice. Like every other skill you improve with practice. Practice in ordinary conversation with coworkers, spouses, and friends. Listening actively and well will improve all your relationships.
25. Enjoy the art of listening as a Learning Experience.

©2012 JoAnna Brandi & Company, Inc. 561-279-0027

That tip focused on what to do in the moment when you are experiencing stress (like an upset customer or an unexpected traffic jam). I’ll follow up with a few ideas in this tip that can help you work on the long term chronic stress of living in this “Always on” “Pedal to the metal” culture that seems to be prevalent in business and other sides of life as wel

Choosing your response rather than reacting to the circumstances in front of you requires practice. For me, it’s taken quite a bit of practice. It’s something I need to pay attention to every day. My long term goal of becoming more emotionally intelligent helps. My other long term goal of vibrant good health helps too. Stress is a killer and I don’t want it to get me. Instead I choose to practice Response-ability!

Reacting in the moment IS the programmed response built in for survival and as I said in the last tip when we need it for actual survival it’s mighty handy, but when we allow it to hijack us continually it shuts down the part of the brain needed to be creative and solve problems quickly (and it just plain wears out your body).

So in addition to the six “in the moment” strategies I shared last time, I’ve got six more for your long term well being and mastery of customer relationships.

Laugh often and well. Make sure to bring humor and laughter into your life – at work and beyond. Keep a lineup of your favorite funny movies handy so when you need a little stress reduction, it’s at your fingertips. Laughter is often the best medicine. Appoint a “Minister of Mirth” in the office and make it a revolving position so everyone gets a chance to participate in organizing the fun.

Find an exercise you love to do and do it at least 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes. Research is beginning to show that exercise is more potent than anti depressants! The wonderful book SPARK turned me on to the many benefits of moving on a regular basis – it’s good for the body and good for the brain. Harvard’s Tal Ben Shahar told our Positive Workplace group that not exercising is actually like taking a depressant drug. Get out the door and MOVE on a regular basis!

Cultivate friendships at work as well and after work. Gallup has identified having a “best friend as work” as one of the 12 core elements of employee engagement. In fact, it’s one of the most important elements. Encourage that water cooler chat! Flourishing relationships are an integral part of a life of well being.

Nourish your brain and your body with healthy foods. Cut way down on the sugar, the soda and the caffeine. They artificially manipulate your energy levels and eventually effect adrenal function and a host of other vital processes. Put more vegetables, fruit and whole foods into your diet. Nature has its own sources of sweetness. Fill the fruit bowl at work.

Practice being positive. We’re bombarded with negativity at every turn it seems. If you want to create a positive culture that yields positive customer and employee experiences you may need to practice positivity as diligently as you practice your golf or tennis game. Visit our Positivity Practices blog and share some of your own!

Choose a “recovery strategy” that strengthens your stress recovery muscle. I learned and practice the Freeze Frame® technique taught at the Institute of Heartmath. The more I use it when I’m not stressed the better I am at using it when I am.

Here are the Five Steps of the Freeze-Frame® Technique I practice:

1. Recognize the stress, and choose to take a time-out.
2. Shift your inner focus from racing mind or disturbed emotions to the physical area around your heart. ‘Breathe through your heart’ for at least ten seconds (I do it a lot longer.)
3. Recall a positive, fun feeling or something you deeply appreciate and re-experience it; don’t just ‘remember’ it – recapture its energy.
4. While immersed in that positive feeling, ask your heart for guidance to the most efficient response to the situation at hand – one that will minimize present and future stress.
5. Listen to the intuitive guidance you receive, and bring it gently into the present moment.

This technique activates the intelligence of your heart and brings your body out of stress and into coherence. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes to access the state of calm it induces. It’s my personal favorite. I use it. I teach others to use it too.

These techniques as well as the six I shared in the last tip will help you outsmart the stress habit and bring you into a state of better health and well being. The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of your customers!

JoAnna

Stress has become a permanent part of our lives. Constantly blaring negativity wears away at positive attitudes (especially when you’re in the middle between boss and customer) and keeping on top of it all requires as much effort as maintaining a healthy weight!

The worst thing about stress is that it can accumulate and cause a good deal of damage to the body, mind, and emotions alike. I’ve learned that to prevent that damage – which can literally become life-threatening over time – the first thing you have to do is ask yourself a question:

“Do I have to be a victim of my stress, or can I have more control over the way I deal with it?”

In working with clients and in my own life, I have found that the control we seek comes from understanding the body’s physical responses to stress; by consciously managing those responses, you can keep your stress levels down, and your energy, creativity and problem-solving skills up!

This is all a part of taking care of your “inner needs;” if you want to take great care of customers, you really do have to take good care of yourself first! Stress management is a critical part of self-care and customer care – and it’s something you probably started to learn way back when you were a kid.

For example, remember when someone (probably your mother or a teacher) told you to take a deep breath, or to count to ten before getting angry or flying off the handle? It was great advice. Why is that? Our bodies have an internal mechanism that almost always overreacts to anything we perceive as “bad” or “wrong” or dangerous. Counting to ten gives you time to slow down this mechanism, the automatic process known as the “fight or flight” reaction.

The fight or flight reaction is a very handy (and life preserving) response to have in situations of real danger. To put all your energy and focus where it needs to be (on the danger), it actually shuts down some of your normal functions such as digestion, assimilation of nutrients, the fighting of infections and other internal processes. At the same time, it rushes blood to the skeletal muscles around your arms and legs and floods your body with stimulants like adrenaline and cortisol, giving you the strength and ability to defend your life.

This reaction was mighty helpful when we lived in caves and our lives where threatened daily by very real dangers like wild beasts looking for dinner. The Fight or Flight reaction (named after the choice our cave brethren had – either fight the beast or run away) is an automatic physiological response to danger whether real or perceived.

It’s been an essential tool to the survival of our species. Those with a very weak response became dinner for the beast, those with the strongest flight or fight response ate the beast for dinner. And so we evolved…

The daily need to fight for our physical lives has diminished quite a bit over the years, but our bodies, so well programmed for survival in the wild, now react to almost any perceived negative occurrence (including an upset customer, or missing the budget deadline) by producing the same fight or flight reaction with its ensuing physical chemicals and bodily changes. Because we don’t actually have a use for these chemicals while we’re sitting in the office (which cause a reduction in the ability to fight illness, adrenaline rushes, and all the responses I mentioned earlier), this becomes damaging to the body, the mind, and the emotions over time.

To complicate matters just a little more, when the fight or flight response is triggered the mind begins to look for additional danger (like more beasts; isn’t nature wonderful?), because our lives used to depend on us finding the beasts before they found us. So it looks for additional things that are “wrong” with a situation, and it filters out what is right.

This is a very handy reflex if you are a police officer, fire fighter or game show contestant. For the rest of us, who need such responses much less frequently, it negatively impacts our personal health, our attitudes, our relationships with co-workers, and our ability to provide the best possible care to our precious customers.

I take comfort in knowing that if I ever did have to run for my life, my body will respond well. In the meantime, I have to remember that when I start feeling that adrenaline surge through my body, and I feel my heart beating faster, I am actually damaging my body by suppressing my own immune system, blood cell production, healing and other vital functions. All this because the plane was late? I take 3 deep breaths, count to ten, and remind myself that I’m not fighting wild beasts today!

Try it now. Inhale deeply through your nose and fill your belly with air. Hold for a few seconds, then exhale deeply, expelling all the stale air. Make your exhale a little longer than your inhale. Then repeat twice more.The fresh oxygen will send a signal to your sympathetic nervous system to take you out of fight or flight mode. It’s like an “All Clear” signal to the body to relax your muscles and get back to the other important automatic functions like fighting germs and digesting lunch.

When I take my 3 deep breaths I focus on words like “calm”, “balance” and “peace” – the states I’d like to be in rather than the stressful state I was in. Try that too.

Taking that few seconds gives you the opportunity to choose your response – rather than just react to the circumstance in front of you. It puts you in a more appropriate state of mind and body to deal with customers who need your help.

Here are a few other things you can do when you feel yourself in pounding heart, tightening fist, racing blood pressure mode of fight or flight:

Get up and move around – burn off some of the energy. Go out to the stairwell and run up and down the steps a few times.

Visualize yourself in a calm, serene place (I always see myself walking on a long deserted beach). Take a mental vacation!

Drink a cool glass of clean water and feel the cells in your body getting refreshed.

Stretch. Stand up, reach high into to sky and then touch the earth. Do a slow spinal stretch at your desk. Stretch your neck gently from side to side. Keep breathing while stretching.

Feel appreciation. Bring to your mind a person, situation, food, place or activity that you love. Vividly remember a time when you felt love and appreciation for it. Feel it now. Take your mindful energy and focus it on the area around your heart when you do this.

You get the picture! Choose a better response! Break the link between stimulus (the sound of your boss’s footsteps in the hallway, the voice of an upset customer) and reaction (blood pumping, heart racing). Breathe, deeply, count to ten and prepare yourself for a calm, easy, rational response. It takes practice, but all these things help to keep you stress level down and organs from wearing out too early in life. Want to stay young, and healthy? Learn to manage stress!

Your skill at managing stress – the fight or flight response – is good for you, your co-workers and your vital relationships with your customers.

Take good care of yourself and your customers and put your own “oxygen mask” on first!

JoAnna

But do we DO IT? Do we create the changes necessary to reach the goals we desire?

There are inevitable changes that happen to and around us; our children grow up, we get promoted at work, the weather goes from bright and balmy to cloudy-soggy (especially on the Florida coastline where I live). We respond to these changes, grow into them, learn to make the best of the ones that are tough and to laugh at the rained on picnics.

But how much change in our lives comes from our own conscious choices and commitments? How many positive aspects of your work and home life are the direct results of your own perseverance and creative efforts?

Let’s face it, you’ve got to “do the do.” Or as Ghandi more eloquently put it, “You’ve got to be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Sounds simple, but most people get stuck on the “doing” part of obtaining what they desire. Just look at all the people who never start (or never finish) weight-loss programs. (Yeah, me too.) Or who complain endlessly about problems they never get around to fixing. And how about those who supposedly want to get better at their jobs – say, providing customer care – but pay more attention to distractions instead (cell phone apps, office dramas, an issue at home).

The question is: How can you create the habit of your choosing to improve your customer care and leadership skills (by becoming more attentive, patient, trustworthy, proactive, respectful, appreciative…) instead of getting caught in a whirlwind of reactions to external circumstances (a customer’s bad attitude, a co-worker’s laziness, low customer satisfaction scores)?

The answer: You do what all Masters of Change do, and you initiate an ongoing dance of decisions and doing. It starts with a decision – a clear and firm choice- to do something differently in some area of your life. Perhaps you would like to have a better relationship with someone in another department, or learn to listen to your customers with both ears, or see the positive side of a negative co-worker. Perhaps you would like to have a more positive attitude towards your work and all those around you.

Now you’re ready to DO something about your decision, and here’s what you do: Take a single step in the direction of your goal. Then reconnect with your decision, and then take another single step in the right direction. It’s like a simple two-step dance.

Decide, then do.

Decide, then do.

Repeat as often as necessary to achieve a victory, no matter how small.

If it’s improved customer relationships you’ve decided you want, then listen openly without assumptions, blame or judgment, speak the truth clearly, concisely and from your heart, and hold your customers in the highest regard.

Decide, then do. Decide, then do.

Tweak as necessary, and repeat ’til complete.

It doesn’t matter if you’re not a good “dancer,” if your steps aren’t as graceful as you’d like or if you find yourself wandering off track. Just take a deep breath, reconnect with your decision, and look for a way to take one step toward that decision. Remember that if you’re not taking conscious steps toward your goals, then by default you are stepping away from them. (And in this economy, the latter isn’t really an option.)

Keep up the two-step toward the change you’re making until it becomes second nature. At that point, you own it; you don’t have to think so much about it anymore because you just DO it. (In fact, you will eventually become known for doing things that great way you do them!)

When you get to where you’re going, acknowledge your accomplishment not just in words (“I did it!”) but in emotions as well (happiness, pride, relief, joy). It’s a celebration in intellect and emotion – so important in everything you do.

Even better, jot down your accomplishment and your thoughts and feelings about it. (It’s a great remembrance to have on hand for times when you don’t feel like “dancing.”) Every Friday I make a list of my accomplishments and steps I’ve taken to maintain balance in life (I call that “Soulfood”). I use a leather journal that was given to me as a gift and it’s a special and symbolic act that reminds me of things I did, rather than the things I didn’t.

Share your accomplishments with others and allow yourself to feel the joy others take in you and what you do. One of Positive Psychology’s “evidence based” exercises for increasing happiness is the “3 Good Things and Why” practice of writing and/or sharing 3 good things that happened that day and why. Over time you are retraining your brain to sort for the “good stuff” and you will begin to see more of it. What you focus on expands.

Then it’s time to think about what change you intend to make next, what new goal you are willing to dance toward. Reinitiate your two-step by deciding exactly what it will be, and then taking a step toward it.

Decide, then do. Decide, then do.

Tweak as necessary, and repeat ’til complete.

Dance like your customers are watching and your business depends upon it, because they are and it does.

Dancing my own two-step beside you,

JoAnna

Even more fun were the conversations the speech inspired among business owners and managers. The ideas they exchanged in the hallway and exhibit area focused on one of my favorite topics – creating a customer focused company.

So many companies have been affected by the recession – their margins have been squeezed and the number of competitors has grown, making business all the more challenging. Everyone I spoke to wanted even more information on how they can build stronger and longer lasting relationships with their customers – they wanted more info on what I love to call “20/20 Customer Focus”.

I was happy to oblige. Before long I found myself asking questions about how customer focused they really were – I dug down deep to get past the “We respond quickly when the customer has a problem” stuff and found in a short time I was asking a series of questions about how they structured their businesses and how they educated their staffs. On the plane ride home I began to play with some ideas for a list of questions I might share with you.

What I came up with are these 22 questions that will stimulate your customer focus.

1. Do you have a set of clearly articulated values that include the customer relationship?
2. Have you defined those values in the words your staff really understands and “operationalized” them throughout the company?
3. As a leader, do you talk frequently and regularly about those values and reward those who exemplify them?
4. Do you regularly have ways of getting feedback from both customers and employees, so you can understand changing needs?
5. Do you know all the places your company touches your customer?
6. Have you defined and designed the kinds of experiences you want the customer to have at all the touch points?
7. Do your job descriptions include the connection and impact of the job and the customer?
8. Have you created a hiring process (that you actively use) that reflects your values and the kinds of experiences you want to create for your customers?
9. Are you willing to pass on candidates who don’t pass muster on that process no matter how good their resume looks? (Oooh, this is a tough one!)
10. Do you orient and educate new people so they know how the customer needs to be treated and the kinds of emotions you want to evoke at each touch point?
11. Do you know and teach every employee what the lifetime value of your customer is and why it’s important?
12. Do you recognize the importance of the “internal customers” in taking care of the external ones? Do you teach them as well?
13. Does everyone get training and education on good communication skills?
14. Do people listen to understand (not just to respond) and give feedback that is supportive?
15. Do you value customer complaints? Do you make it easy for them to complain or compliment?
16. Do you make changes when customers find gaps in your service process?
17. Do you communicate across “silos” all the time because the customer experience crosses many of them?
18. Do you destroy the rules and policies that hamper decision making at the customer facing level?
19. Do you educate, empower and support the people who touch the customers with all the info they need to make an educated decision that is in the best interest of the customer and the company?
20. Are you continually learning, observing, training, reflecting and doing your best to be the best for your customers?
21. Are you managing energy so you don’t have to manage stress?
22. Are you having fun?

Wow, this is what happens when I start thinking about customer focus! I believe you get what you focus on and what you focus on expands. Remember, if the only things you’ve been focused on are “cutting” budgets, “slashing” costs and “squeezing” your suppliers, well, your customers are not going to feel good about “expanding” their relationship with you.

It’s your job to create value. While it’s prudent during tough times to restrain your spending, the most important message you want to give your team is that the generation of value is paramount. Value is both tangible and intangible – and often it’s the intangible value – a positive interaction, a helpful rep, an innovative idea, an always reliable relationship, a speedy response – that keeps the customer in your court even when the competition thinks “cheap” is the answer.

So there you have it – my latest musing on creating a 20/20 Customer Focus – and yes, as I shared with my audience last week, it can be fun! Think of it as an adventure.

Happy trails,

JoAnna

Truly Customer Focused companies are strangely different from the mainstream companies out there. They are what we call “Positively Deviant” in the ways they think, feel, interact, reward and invite people to participate in their culture.

They do crazy things like destroying the rules and policies that hamper on-the-spot decision making in Customer-facing positions. Crazy things like trusting their employees to use sound judgment when making decisions that will keep the customers happy (and keep the company bottom line healthy.) Insane things like making the financials public in ways that help the employees become smarter about how business is run, what makes it successful, and how much they can do to keep customers loyal and happy.

They do really rebellious things like defining success for themselves, so they can respond to changing customer needs and temporarily turn their backs on the investors so the long term prospects of the business can thrive.

They do dangerous things like call their suppliers in at budget time to capitalize on their expertise and make choices that are fair.

They do outrageous things like having book clubs and open forums for discussing new ideas. Some even bring the customers into the discussions!

Contrary to the common business practice of telling employees to “check their emotions at the door,” they invite employee emotions in, and ask them to check their egos at the door.

Customer focused companies just look different, sound different and value different things.

Many companies think they are focused on the customer when in fact they miss many of the places where they have an opportunity to connect, communicate and create a stronger emotional bond. It’s important to keep in mind that loyalty is an emotional attachment – based on feelings – not logic.

Retention, on the other hand, maybe be very logically based, and still somewhat profitable, but it’s risky in all the wrong ways. Customers without emotional attachments are often just looking for the next best deal. For instance, I frequently shop at the pharmacy on my corner. It’s convenient, the specials are enticing and it’s open 24 hours.

To the people who work there it may seem like I’m loyal – but that’s far from the case. I think the service is mediocre at best, I don’t have nice things to say about them, and given the chance to pick up the very items they sell if I’m at the supermarket, I’ll do it. Retained? Yes – by the convenience. Loyal – no – they do nothing to earn that.

What’s missing? That lovin’ feeling. The feeling that they care, the feeling that I matter or that my business is appreciated, or that I am special in any way. That experience I desire is consistently missing.

Is yours consistently present? Do your customers get “that lovin’ feeling” from you?

Being Customer Focused begins with looking at the customer – in the eye – with a smile – with recognition and with appreciation. (Yes, even on the web.)

If you put that warm, welcoming customer interaction at the center of a circle, with a little bit of caring, it’s a good start. If you connect the customer facing people to the center in a way that helps them understand the role they play in customer happiness, you help create meaning.

“I come to work because…” is connected to a reason that makes people proud to show up for work. You know, like those crazy, rebellious, outrageous reasons I mentioned earlier in this tip. Engaged, loyal employees who are nurtured, trusted and understand the stake they have in an organization will go out of their way to contribute to the mission and the dream. They’re the ones who create the experiences that generate customer loyalty.

In turn, loyal customers give more back to you in the way of purchases, referrals and positive word of mouth. They are usually easier to serve and more forgiving. When an entire organization is focused on creating loyal, happy, repeat customers, they do things other places don’t. That’s “Customer Focused.” All eyes looking in one direction – putting a smile on the face of the customer.

Stay Focused,

JoAnna

If you like reading JoAnna’s tips…

…you’ll probably love hearing JoAnna being interviewed on Creating Customer Happiness on Tuesday, March 6, 2012, at 3 p.m. EST. This fr*e teleconference is being hosted by Tiffany DeSilva of Client Allure™, who will be asking JoAnna questions about how to keep customers “happy ever after.” For more details about the interview, info on JoAnna’s special offers to attendees, and to register please visit: www.returnonhappiness.com/allureinvite

(Mary experienced our “Creating Happiness” program with a group of CEO’s)

There are probably infinite ways to celebrate Cupid’s big day, but most Valentine gestures can be separated into two distinct groups: Those made as a result of going through the motions, and gestures that are sincere.

You know what I’m talking about, right? It’s the difference between:

“Oh, geez, it’s Valentine’s Day. Gotta ask my daughter to pick a card for my wife…”

and

“Oh, here comes that extra special day to show my honey I love him! Wonder what he’d most appreciate this year…”

The former is a version of “phoning it in.” In business, it translates to telling your team to give “service with a smile” without giving them a reason to smile, or dramatically changing a product or service without checking if that’s what customers really want. Operating this way is taking the path of least resistance, the easy way out – and then some businesses actually expect to be rewarded for what is really a lack of effort, feeling and thoughtfulness!

Sure, going through the motions is movement, but it’s not moving customers to feel the desire to give you their money, repeat business and referrals. That’s because business relationships need the same things all relationships need to succeed: They need the “E” in front of the motion – like I always tell my clients, “Emotion is Energy in motion“ – and the emotions must be POSITIVE and SINCERE.

So what does it take to unleash you and your team’s capacity for loyalty-building positivity and sincerity? In short: You’ve got to increase your “EQ” and not just your IQ. Your emotional intelligence is what will help you deliver on the customers’ needs to feel appreciated, valued, secure, confident, happy, and all the other emotions they secretly wish they could get from the people they buy services and products from.

With that in mind, here are 5 tips for putting an end to the “empty motions” (that can eventually put an end to your business), and creating customer love and loyalty through “customer relationship mastery:”  

1.   Become conversant in the language of positive emotions. There are a wide range of positive emotions, many of which your customers would love to experience: Happiness, appreciation, the joy of being heard and understood, respected and supported, to name only a few. That’s why creating customer happiness and positive emotions entails a basic set of skills in “Emotional Intelligence;” authors Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves do a great job covering the basics of the language of emotions in their book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0. My www.ReturnOnHappiness.com site is chock-full of information, articles and now even book recommendations. One of my favorite books on creating happiness is available right on the side bar of this tip. How about starting a book club with your team – reading and discussing one book a month? Talking about how you can move from customer service to delivering happiness will broaden everyone’s thinking.         

2.   Know and work from your strengths. When you know your strengths and consciously work from them when interacting with co-workers, team members or customers, you increase opportunities for positive emotions to take root and grow. When you help team members do the same by listening for and focusing on their strengths (what they are doing right) rather than on weaknesses (what’s wrong), you will build relationships with employees and customers that are resilient, stronger and longer. Starting today, promise yourself that when you hear someone speak you will listen for what’s best in them and where they are strong. Then, give them sincere feedback on their goodness in the form of acknowledgement.

For instance, Mary Jane comes to you to tell you about a difficult call she had with a customer and how she handled it. You listen for her strengths when she is telling the story, then reflect them back to her: “Mary Jane, I know that call was challenging for you. Kudos to you for rising to the challenge! You skillfully brought that customer out of a near rage, dealt with his negative emotions and defused them. By being empathetic instead of defensive, you really won him over. That was great work!”  (Pssst. Not sure of what your character strengths are? Find out by taking a fr*e character assessment here: www.viacharacter.org.

3.   Keep employees plugged into their unique strengths. As you become savvy in your growing knowledge of positive emotions and strengths, and become proficient at catching employees doing things right, start creating opportunities for team members to get to know and act from their strengths. One of my favorite clients had all their reps take an assessment to discover their top strengths. Then they each wrote their top five strengths on a sheet of paper that they hung outside their cubes: “My name is Erin and my top strengths are…” Some decorated the paper with drawings, pictures or quotes that inspire them or show them their strengths in pictures. Whenever they enter their cubes, they get a powerful, feel-good reminder of what’s great about them – the strengths they can leverage to create exquisite customer experiences. This gives them a sincere reason to smile and be in a positive mindset as they prepare to care for your precious customers. Give people the opportunity to do what they do best!      

4.   Anticipate changing customer needs. Your customers needs are changing as you read this. Make it your business to find out how! Conduct polls on your website or through social media like LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter. Call a dozen customers a month (that’s just three customers a week) not to sell them anything, but just to talk to them; listen carefully for what’s new and what’s keeping them up at night. Then whenever possible act on what you learn! Being proactive, and a thorough, responsive listener are some of the most powerful and sincere relationship-building techniques I can think of when caring for customers (or your special Valentine)!

5.   Spruce up everyday language with positivity! Simple changes in the everyday language reps use with customers can dramatically amp up customer love for your organization. Drop wimpy, negative, going-through-the-motions phrases like: “No Problem…I can try…I’ll see if…No, I can’t…That’s not possible/not the way things are done here…” and the like. Replace them with happiness-generating responses like: “Absolutely!…Certainly… It’s my pleasure…Sure thing…I’m on it… Let’s take care of this right now…I’d be happy to….What I can do is…” Your customers will feel the positive difference and begin to deepen their emotional attachment to your organization – their loyalty. They will feel more confident and more secure that you are sincerely there for them – that you genuinely care about their success and happiness.

My “unwritten rule” for all of these tips: Do them! Be religious about your commitments and consistency when it comes to earning customer loyalty and love. Start now, this Valentine’s Day, by going beyond the hearts, flowers and chocolates to deliver the sweetest of all emotions – positive, sincere appreciation. Employees and customers who feel your organization’s sincere commitment to them will reward you richly with their loyalty, love and yes, over time: Profits. As Ken Blanchard once said, “Profit is the applause you get from taking good care of employees and customers.”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

JoAnna

PS: Enjoy a few “Feel Good” moments with this short video (and great song). It’s one of our all time, big-broad-smiling favorites! Pass it on. www.freehugscampaign.org

The emotion of happiness is entwined with another profit-generating emotion: LOVE. Tomorrow being February 1 there has been, of course, a lot of retail fanfare heralding Valentine’s Day. The marketing is working, because every place I go I’m thinking about love!

And when you think about it, what is customer loyalty if not customer LOVE? After all, what is it you’d like your customers to be saying about your business when they talk to friends and colleagues? You want them saying the same things you say about your favorite businesses:

“I love that restaurant… Just love my car dealer… I’m sticking with my insurance company-it’s one of a kind… No matter how my hairdresser cuts my hair, I always love the way she does it… Gotta love my mechanic!… Don’t you just love their coffee?”

Such declarations of love for businesses are more than words: Neuroscientists studying consumer behavior have discovered that when you see the logo of a company you “love,” the area in the brain that lights up is the very same place it lights up when you are thinking about a person you love. Loyalty is an actual emotional attachment that causes blood to flow to the emotional centers of the brain!

So when you’re thinking about creating positive customer experiences and happy, loyal customers, you want to think, “How do I create the emotional connections that exceed (and maybe even anticipate) the customers’ deepest needs for things like security, appreciation, acknowledgement, confidence and care,” to mention only a few. In other words, “What’s going to make customers love doing business with us?”

The answer to that question begins with happy and engaged employees (happy employees are 31% more productive!) who go above and beyond for customers, who “romance them” to make ‘em happy and loyal! And the starting point for this skill is YOU, because it’s your job to consciously create an environment where employees feel good about themselves in your presence.

Two weeks ago I gave you three steps for creating a strong foundation for employee engagement and customer loyalty. Today I’m sharing five “make the most of every moment” tips that you can put into action anytime, and should do as often as possible. These actions are high-yield investments in your employees’ “emotional bank accounts,” the resources employees draw from to provide exquisite customer service.

1. Whenever possible, “Manage by walking around” to tell team members what they are doing right. “I love the way you handled that difficult customer!… I appreciate the way you completed your monthly report right on time… I feel so great when I see firsthand the great job you all do – bravo!”

2. Set the tone for each week on Mondays. Remind employees how important they are to the company mission. Set up clear goals, and motivate them to pursue those goals! Remember that what you focus on expands. (And you might want to increase their ability to get and stay motivated by signing them up for my Monday Morning Motivation).

3. Create a “Happy Hour” every Friday. No drinks required! What is required is asking employees to share, briefly, the efforts and accomplishments they are most happy about or proud of that occurred during the work week.

4. Ask, engage and involve employees. Ask them what makes them loyal. What makes them fall in love with a company, a product or a website. Ask them, “How can we create a company people can fall in love with?” How can we create remarkable experiences that customers will come back for and tell their friends about?” Listen carefully and put some of their suggestions into practice.

5. Strive for a Positivity to Negativity Ratio of 5:1 – Deliver five messages of acknowledgement, praise, encouragement, affirmation, recognition, assurance, congratulations, and other positive reinforcements for every one remark fueled by criticism, sarcasm, shame, cynicism and other negative stuff. High performance teams do this, and so can you! It takes practice.

And here’s a unique opportunity to get everyone thinking “Happiness” immediately:

Sign up TODAY to host a screening of The Happy Movie (the registration deadline is tomorrow, Wednesday, February 1) or travel to a venue where the movie is playing. Then we’ll all watch The Happy Movie “together” on World Happiness Day on Saturday, February 11, 2012.

Whatever you do, keep your efforts sincere, simple and consistent. You want to make progress – and there is no standard of “perfection” here. There are just some businesses that are great places to work and to do business with – businesses people love, and businesses that aren’t great and don’t have customers who connect with them emotionally. Which one do you want to be?